This is a post written by my friend, Juliana Dolcimascolo, who’s spending the weekend with me here.

After 3 hours at the airport, 2 hours in the car, and however many hours at the hospital, Katie relieved me of my “support person” duties so I could go home to see my family and take a shower. I wasn’t very talkative; most of my thoughts focused on when and how Katie would might need me next.

Mom’s don’t care if you feel like being talkative or not. They’re happy that their baby is home. They give you their opinion on the news, tell you your haircut is cute, they ask you if you’re okay, and they don’t believe you when you say everything is fine. Eventually, my mom started laughing out of the blue.

“Have you ever read about the ‘Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck?’”

“What?”

“Essentially, we become more selective about the fucks we’re willing to give,” she read to me off an article on her phone. “This is something called ‘maturity.’ It’s nice, you should try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy.”

In January 2015, Mark Manson posted a blog on his website about how he learned to not give a fuck. Bear with me here for a second. He doesn’t really mean not giving a fuck, not in the way that you think. He means that life is a process of going from giving way too many fucks about stupid shit to learning what in life is really fuckworthy. Is going to this really fucking cool party important? How important is that pair of really fucking trendy shoes? In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter how many fucking likes you get on that Instagram? I’ll give you the answer, event though you probably already know- none of those things are important. Growing up is a process of learning to only give a fuck about things that matter.

Since right after Katie told me about her diagnosis, I have found myself truly understanding what it means to give a fuck. I don’t sweat the small stuff. I refuse to spend time worrying about things I can’t control. My grades are not a reflection of my worth. Calories? Who really cares. Traffic? Not important, I’m lucky that my little sister loves me enough to donate her car to me for the weekend. None of those things are really, truly fuckworthy.

I cherish my life and its blessings more than ever before. I give a fuck about my best friend. I will spend two sleepless nights in a plastic chair just because it makes her smile to have me around. I give a fuck about my family. I will hug them close this weekend and tell them every day how much I love them. I give a fuck about my friends and living every day to the fullest. I find myself saying yes to going out even when I’m not feeling like it and looking for every opportunity to spend a few hours with people I care about. I have a new understanding of how precious my friendships are and what an incredibly opportunity it is just to wake up every morning. It’s only been a week, and I already feel myself starting to understand what it really means to fucking give a fuck.

I’ve spend the past day smelling like a mix of airport, hospital, sweat, and three entrees of Indian food (because Katie started craving it and what princess wants, princess gets, even it it makes your car smell like curry). And guess what? It really doesn’t fucking matter what I smell like. I don’t give a fuck if the entire elevator is glaring at me because I’m a living, breathing chicken tikka masala. Because of Katie, I know what in my life is really worth caring about… and it’s liberating. And I’m grateful. I hope everyone reading her blog can start to learn some of the same things from her, too.

So peace, love, and fuck things that aren’t worth giving a fuck about,

Juliana