What to do when your sister has cancer?

Katie has only had cancer for a week. I’m learning as I go. I do not know all the steps. These are just a few. 

Step 1: Receive the news and prepare to not know what to do with yourself for a few days.

My mom called and told me the bad news while I was at school and preparing for midterms. I walked aimlessly around campus alone until I felt like I needed a friend. This made me realize how selfish everyone is in college; because, when I would text people to talk or get food, I would receive a response that they were too busy or studying for midterms. I had a few good friends to open up to. After I would tell them, there was nothing else to do or say. The tone would switch to casual college girl conversation about last weekend or excitement for the upcoming Green Beer Day. Therefore, I kept her cancer to myself at school, while my mind was all over the place.

Step 2: Take advantage of the fact that you can use the cancer card in certain instances

I haven’t done this because I don’t want to use her cancer to help me get out of something I don’t want to do. But Nathan really took advantage of Katie’s diagnosis. Nathan already used Katie’s cancer to get out of two tests. I’m not condoning this behavior, but the option is always open if you absolutely need extra time to study.

Step 3: Make a scene at the hospital

My dad picked me up from Miami and I visited Katie at the hospital for the first time. Not being on my add medicine and being picked up from GBD, I was in a good mood. The best medicine is laughter. Therefore, I turned on music right as I walked into Katie’s room and started dancing, jumping on top of her, and playing with the hospital supplies. The nurses hated me because I kept saying, “It’s bullshit till she’s bald.” We made fun of the nurses together and I took full advantage of the chipotle and sushi people brought for Katie. Hospitals are depressing, but a good attitude and a fun mood can definitely change that perspective.

Step 4: Get texts from nosy curious people

Before Katie’s blog dropped, I made a few Snapchat stories. Because, what else is there to do bored in a hospital room? I received numerous texts asking what happened to Katie or “Why is Katie in the hospital?” These texts made me chuckle to myself before I responded because I felt like I was dropping this news way too casually on unsuspecting people. Anyways, those first few texts were the calm before the storm.

Step 5: Prepare to have your phone bombarded

Katie made her blog public and our phones blew up. I think I got a lot of texts. Katie and Mom got so many more. I left them unread until I had time to respond. It got to the point when I didn’t even read the whole message. I started to skim some after a while. There were a few that really touched me. The most genuine messages were the ones that added a personal story about their experience with cancer or their experience with a friend in the hospital. I got one message that offered to buy a spa treatment for my mom and sister, which was one of the most effective and caring messages I received.

We all had our favorite responses. My mom’s was just a heart emoji. Katie’s was a simple “thanks for the message means a lot (heart emoji) (heart emoji).” I responded something similar but with an added “I’ll pass this onto Katie.” I didn’t really understand why people were texting me. I’m not the one who has cancer. However, I did notice myself feeling some resentment towards my good friends who didn’t text me. But I don’t understand cancer etiquette, so why should I expect other people to understand it. Ultimately, thank you to everyone who shared the #goodvibes and made Katie feel loved.

Step 6: Eat a lot of food

The past few days, Katie has gotten SO MUCH FOOD. Good food too! Katie is going to be on steroids soon and get chubby, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to become borderline obese before she even gets to that point. I’ve eaten way too much chocolate, chipotle, goldfish, BonBonnerie, and sugar cereal. I probably have diabetes. She got an edible arrangement. If you really want to show someone you care about them, buy them an edible arrangement.

Step 7: Buy your sister lots of hats

One way I made myself useful was to online shop for hats. I bought Katie two different bucket hats. One has rubber ducks on it and the other has cats and hamburgers on it. Katie doesn’t have a preference for hats because she’s not bald yet. She wants funny hats. We are looking for a pizza headscarf she saw on Pinterest. So please everyone keep your eyes peeled. If anyone has any suggestions for cool hats, feel free to message Katie or me with links.

I’m not very experienced with cancer. This gives a little insight on what’s happening and how I am doing with it. As a family, we are handling this situation day by day, moment by moment. We are hoping for the best and rolling with the punches. We appreciate all the prayers and love we have received. Peace, Love, and Fuck Cancer. 

– Morgan